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Our friends for over two decades, who has overcome several challenges, which I admire. However, she has been repeatedly blindsided by people. Her husband left her, which came as a huge shock. A lot of her social circle drifted away at that point, as they were drawn to him. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in greater energy in our friendship, and must have grasped more clearly the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern In Relationships

Throughout this period, many in her circle have drifted apart leaving her certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she had been very skilled at her work, and she left unaware of what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we have each left the workforce leading to more time together, but I am finding the part I play between us is as the audience. I introduce topics of conversation but she shifts conversation onto her own topics. Regarding political views, she holds strong opinions. I try to recommend factchecking and alternate views.

She is arranging a trip to a nation I know well on several occasions and resided in for some time. I tried to offer insights, however, my input not welcomed. She really just desired me to confirm her choices. I have come back from 30 days in that place she hopes to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, but I don't think she'll truly grasp the consequences of her behaviour on my self-esteem. Currently, I find myself in distancing myself. What should I do?

Possible Paths

One option is to walk away, but it is seldom the easy answer that we desire. Yet having a direct talk aiming for resolution demands strength and willingness from both people.

Therapists recommend using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Step one is to state what typically happens in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and basically what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express how this makes you feel. Ideally, there's no disagreement on this point. Emotions are your feelings, of course. Finally is to ask how you are both going to change the interaction of your friendship."

Consider your friend has a point of view, meaning you must to stay open to listen to her. A helpful technique involves stating your friend:

"Now you talk and I promise to not say anything for 30 minutes."

It's wildly successful to encourage mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

She could ignore all you say, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a version about themselves they cannot abandon as it feels essential relies on it being the only thing they've known. This is difficult as there is no easy route here, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could initially present defensively then consider on your words. And even if a resolution isn't found a fix, it will give you satisfaction knowing you were honest with her.